FINE

 This is the word we use at the end of any argument
 that we feel we are right about but need to shut you
 up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This
 will cause you to have one of those arguments.



 FIVE MINUTES

 This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
 minutes that your football game is going to last
 before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an
 even trade.



 NOTHING

 This means something and you should be on your toes.
 "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a
 woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside
 down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
 argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with
 the word "Fine".



 GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)

 This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
 getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the
 word "Fine".

 GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)

 This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I
 don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead"
 in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and
 "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
 Minutes" when she cools off.



 LOUD SIGH

 This is not actually a word, but is still often a
 verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud
 Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment
 and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
 and arguing with you over "Nothing".



 SOFT SIGH

 Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft
 Sighs" are one of the few things that some men
 actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is
 to not move or breathe and she will stay content.



 THAT'S OKAY

 This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
 woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she
 wants to think long and hard before paying you
 retributions for what ever it is that you have done.
 "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and
 used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead".
 At some point in the near future when she has plotted
 and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big
 trouble.



 PLEASE DO

 This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is
 giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse
 or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you
 have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth,
 so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".


 THANKS

 A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're
 welcome.

 THANKS A LOT

 This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will
 say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at
 you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some
 callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh".
 Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
 Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

Index