THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY ?
 
 
    Taken from a Florida Newspaper:
    A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and
    his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the
    engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped
    into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle
    bars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and
    along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside
    the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the
    dining room and found her husband lying on the floor,
    cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him and
    the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone
    and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on a
    fairly large hill, the wife went down the several
    flights of stairs to the street to escort the
    paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived
    and transported the man to the hospital, the wife up
    righted the
    motorcycle and pushed it outside. Since gas was
    spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels,
    blotted up the gasoline and threw the towels in the
    toilet. The man was treated and released to come home.
   
    Upon arrival he looked at the shattered patio door and
    the damage done to his motorcycle. He became
    despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the
    toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the
    cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the
    toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was in the
    kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband
    screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her
    husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been
    blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks,
    the back of his legs, and his groin. The wife again
    ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same
    paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them
    at the street.
    The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher
    and began carrying him to the street. While they were
    going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the
    wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the
    husband had burned himself. She told them and the
    paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them
    slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the
    husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and
    broke his arm.
   
    Feeling better yet ?
   
    The average cost for rehabilitating a seal after the
    Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a
    special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved
    animals were released back into the wild amid cheers
    and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full
    view, a killer whale ate them both. After this one you
   
    should start feeling fine !
   
    A psychology student in New York rented out her spare
    room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and
    study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he
    snapped and beat her with an axe leaving her mentally
    retarded.
   
    Still not there yet ?
   
    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen,
    shaking frantically with what looked like a wire
    running from his waist towards the electric kettle.
    Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she
    whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back
    door, breaking his arm in two places.
    Until that moment he had been happily listening to his
    Walkman.
   
    Maybe this will do it !
   
    Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the
    cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn
    Germany. Suddenly, the pigs, all two thousand of them,
    escaped through a broken fence and stampeded,
    trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
   
    If after this one you don't feel better then I give up!
   
    And finally . . . Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet,
    didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came
    back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting
    it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits.
   
    Your day's not so bad, is it?

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