**URGENT - CLEARANCE SALE***

1 Hardly Used Uruguayan Striker - striking resemblance to Sally
Gunnell.Striking bears no resemblance to anything else. ONLY £100

67000 Hotel Rooms in Glasgow for one night only, May15 ANY REASONABLE OFFER
CONSIDERED

1 Open Top Double Decker - cancellation for May 16 . CALL MANCHESTER
0800-HAHAHA

30,000 T -Shirts "Manchester United - Champions League Winners 2002" ONLY £1
EACH WHILE STOCKS LAST

25, 000 Commemorative Mugs "Double Winners 2002" £10 THE LOT

MISSING - Long faced Dutch footballer in white shirt with alarming tendency
to fake own death in opposition penalty area. Last seen at 7.45 on the
evening of April 30. Reported missing 9.30 by colleagues who could not
recall having seen him in the previous 90 minutes or so.

Index