A Jelly bean walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a
 few beers the Smartie says "Ere, do you fancy going to that new club in
 town?"


 The Jelly Bean says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up
 getting my head kicked in." So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a
 bit  of a
 hard case, I'll look after you." So Jelly Bean says "Fair enough,  as
 long as you'll look after me", and off they went.


 After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as
 he sees them, Smartie hides under the table, the Lockets take one look at
 Jelly Bean and starts kicking him, punching him and generally having a
 laugh.


 After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Bean pulls his
 battered Jelly Bean body over to the table and wipes his Jelly Bean blood
 up and
 turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after  me."


 I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are f**king  menthol".

Index