Men are like Laxatives -- They irritate the shit out of you.
 
  Men are like Bananas -- The older they get, the less firm they are.
 
  Men are like Vacations -- They never seem to be long enough.
 
  Men are like Bank Machines -- Once they withdraw they lose interest.
 
  Men are like Weather -- Nothing can be done to change them.
 
  Men are like Blenders -- You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
 
  Men are like Cement -- After getting laid, they take a long time to get
  hard.
 
  Men are like Coffee -- The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you
  up all night long.
 
  Men are like Commercials -- You can't believe a word they say.
 
  Men are like Department Stores -- Their clothes are always half off.
 
  Men are like Government Bonds -- They take so long to mature.
 
  Men are like Horoscopes -- They always tell you what to do and are
  usually wrong.
 
  Men are like Mascara -- They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
 
  Men are like Popcorn -- They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
 
  Men are like Snowstorms -- You never know when they're coming, how many
  inches you'll get or how long it will last.
 
  Men are like Lava Lamps -- Fun to look at, but not very bright.
 
  Men are like Parking Spots -- All the good ones are taken and the rest
  are handicapped

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