The Queen was  visiting one of London's top hospitals and she specified she
  wanted to see absolutely everything. During her tour of the floors she
  passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
 
  "Oh my", said the Queen, "that's disgraceful, what is the meaning of
  this?"
 
  The Doctor leading the tour explains, "I am sorry Your Majesty, but this
  man has a very serious medical condition and is only following doctor's
  orders. His body produces too much semen and his testicles keep
  overfilling. Until we can find out exactly what is causing this problem,
  he's been instructed to do that at least 5 times a day or there is a danger
  that his  testicles will explode, and he would die instantly."
 
  "Oh, I am so sorry", said the Queen.
 
  On the next floor they passed room where a nubile young nurse was giving
  a patient a blow job.
 
  "Oh my", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"
 
  The Doctor replied, "Same problem, but he's with BUPA."

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