Olympic geometrist disqualified for bending the rules
Sign-language school roof falls on deaf ears
Hunchbacked gunman shoots self in foot
Hard-working miller disfigured - nose found on grindstone
Trendy Londoners walk with 'Notting Hill gait'
Judge disgraced for having "no conviction"
Good-looking plastic surgeon cuts nose off to spite face
Cocky vaulter warned to keep feet on ground
Contortionist sniper shoots self in arse
Ken Hom hits wok bottom
"I'll cross that bridge when it comes to me" says lazy rail chief
Dutch inflatable shoe designer pops her clogs
Paralysed steelworker makes rod for own back
Depressed refuse worker found down in the dumps
"We ARE reinventing the wheel" says BMW exec
"It IS rocket science" NASA boasts
Injured horses kept in stable condition
Organic tits found in raid on sex farm
Dirty dustman comes clean
Hungry horse says 'I could eat a man'
Pond-based cliché ends in duck-billed platitude
Man starves to death after arguing self into corner
Missing Ann Summers rep had been 'left to own devices'
I've got no pride, admits reclusive lion

Index