A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to
buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that
they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy
ask his manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said
to his manager, "Some tosser wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he
finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him,
so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."  The
manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager
found the boy and said "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of
that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where
are you from, son?" 

 "Essex, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Essex," the
manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football
players there..  "Really?" said the manager, "My wife's from Essex." The boy
replied, "Really? Who does she play for?" 

Index