Mary had a little skirt
 with splits right up the sides
 and every time that Mary walked
 the boys could see her Thighs
 Mary had another skirt
 twas split right up the front
 ...but she didn't wear that one very often
 
 Mary had a little lamb
 Her father shot it dead.
 Now it goes to school with her,
 between two chunks of bread.
 
 Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
 her clothes all tattered and torn.
 It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
 But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
 
 Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
 Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
 What have you got there?
 Said the Pieman unto Simon,
 Pies, you dickhead.
 
 Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
 Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
 All the kings horses and all the kings men,
 said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.
 
 Mary had a little lamb
 It ran into a pylon.
 10,000 volts went up it's ass
 and turned it's wool to nylon
 
 Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
 Kissed the girls and made them cry.
 When the boys came out to play,
 He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
 
 Jack and Jill
 Went up the hill
 to have some hanky panky.
 Silly Jill forgot her pill
 And now there's little franky.
 
 Old Mother Hubbard
 Went to the cupboard
 to fetch her poor dog a bone.
 When she bent over
 Rover took over,
 And gave her a bone of his own.
 
 Little Boy Blew.
 Hey. He needed the money.

Index