The Golden Years

NATURALLY THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO ANY OF US...?
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start bragging about it.

Don't let anyone tell you you're getting old. Squash
their toes with your rocker!

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting
in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me,
I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've 
traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy,
it is that time when you know when to say yes and when to 
say no, and when to say "WHOOPEE!"

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth, think of Algebra.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting
to the top.

The golden years are really metallic years, gold in
the tooth, silver in your hair and most of all lead in the pants..

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be
born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait until
evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more
often a succession of jerks.

Yeah; being young is beautiful, but being old is
comfortable.

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and
wrinkled, and bald they don't recognize you.

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have
anything to laugh at when you are old.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then
you forget to pull up your zipper, then ... 
oh my goodness you forget to pull your zipper down!

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