Duncan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly,
deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic
relationship
Until one day Kate scuttled over to Duncan in tears. "We can't see each
other anymore..." she sobbed.

"Why?" gasped Duncan.

"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed.  "He  claims you
Are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the lowest class
of
crustacean...and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can
only walk sideways."

Duncan was shattered, and scuttled sideward away into the darkness
and to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.

That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came
From far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess
refused to
Join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Duncan the crab strode in.

The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the
King Lobster rose from his throne. Slowly, painstakingly, Duncan the
crab made his way across the floor.....and all could see that he was
walking, not sideways, but FORWARDS, one claw after another!

Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he
finally looked King Lobster in the eye.

There was a deadly hush..................................






For quite a while...........................






Finally, the crab spoke.......





"Fuck, I'm pissed."

Index