EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
    
    Day 180
    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
    
    Day 181
    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 pm - OH! BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
    
    Day 182
    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    1:30 pm - OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
    
    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
    
    DAY 183
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
    dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to
    eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,
    and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasion! al piece of
    furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
    
    DAY 184
    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
    around their feet while they
    were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the
    top of the stairs. In an
    attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
    oppressors, I once again induced
    myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must
    try this on their bed.
    
    DAY 185
    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
    body, in attempt to make
    them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
    strike fear into their
    hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what
    a good little cat I was
    .... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
    
    DAY 186
    I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no
    good reason I was chosen
    for the water torture. This time however it
    included a burning foamy chemical
    called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent
    such a liquid. My only
    consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
    between my teeth.
    
    DAY 187
    There was some sort of gathering of their
    accomplices. I was placed in
    solitary throughout the event. However, I could
    hear the noise and smell
    the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer".
    More importantly I overheard
    that my confinement was due to MY power of
    "allergies." Must learn what
    this is and how to use it to my advantage.
    
    DAY 188
    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
    maybe snitches. The dog
    is routinely released and seems more than happy to
    return. He is obviously
    a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to
    be an informant, and speaks
    with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
    every move. Due to his
    current placement in the metal room, his safety is
    assured.
    But I can wait, it is only a matter of time... 

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